Today had started out with a blue period again. Got really down for a few hours. Had taken my meds, but they didn't seem to have worked. I had had my usual three cups of coffee in the morning, but things weren't looking too hot. Remembered from some training I had last week, that coffee is a depressant, so decided to forgoe it, and have tea instead. I don't drink tea as a rule, as I'm not a big fan of the taste, so a couple of sugars added to it, and it was palatable. Within about an hour or so, my mood started to lift. I was still bored, but at least I could face the day a bit better.
I spoke to one of my colleagues in the SA on the phone in the afternoon, and he suggested I make a start on a constitution for a sports society for the college. We had been approached by a couple of the sports lecturers about this during the election period, but weren't sure of how fair they had gotten on in accomplishing the setup. So to get the ball rolling, so that we can get things moving for the start of next session, we have decided to get a constitution draft ready for them. And lo, it has fallen to me to do! Not that I mind too much, as I need the distraction. Otherwise I think I'll go mad over the break.
Watched a couple of episodes of Sanctuary tonight as well. I only just got on to this series,and have been going through the first season. Only one episode left, then I start on season two.
I am away to read a bit more of Ghost Rider by Neil Peart before letting the eyelids close for the night.
Nothing else to really say about today.
Sol.
Tuesday 3 July 2012
Monday 2 July 2012
Down Day
Today has been a bit of an off day for me today. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and although I have meds, I can still feel down. I don't know if anyone will ever actually read this blog, but for me it's kind of like my own 365 project. Regardless of how I feel or what I have done, if I can make an entry in this each day,Chen I am doing well.
I think that the reason I feel bad today is down to being on holidays from college. I moved down here about a year ago, and the only friends I have made have been through the course. Now that that has finished, I am back to being alone. All my best friends live 120 miles away in Aberdeen. I can't go out, as I have the kids to look after whilst the wife is at work, and I have no money or job to tide me over. The only respite I will have will be once a week doing the SA training over the summer. I feel like I am in limbo with nothing changing till summer ends. The only reason I got up this morning was because I had to, so that I could go and get some shopping from the supermarket, (which was limited as well due to finances!)
I can't think of what I will do for the next six weeks. When I lived in the old house before moving here, if I felt like this, I could just jump on my motorbike and take a ride through the glens to distract from the solitude. That's not something I can do down here, as the only bike I have needs a lot of work to get it roadworthy, and I can't afford to get the parts I need.
These feelings suck! I don't like them at all, and I wish they would just go away. Desperation has been setting in all day, and all I want to do now is go to bed. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning. If not, this is going to be a hell of a long summer.
Sol
I think that the reason I feel bad today is down to being on holidays from college. I moved down here about a year ago, and the only friends I have made have been through the course. Now that that has finished, I am back to being alone. All my best friends live 120 miles away in Aberdeen. I can't go out, as I have the kids to look after whilst the wife is at work, and I have no money or job to tide me over. The only respite I will have will be once a week doing the SA training over the summer. I feel like I am in limbo with nothing changing till summer ends. The only reason I got up this morning was because I had to, so that I could go and get some shopping from the supermarket, (which was limited as well due to finances!)
I can't think of what I will do for the next six weeks. When I lived in the old house before moving here, if I felt like this, I could just jump on my motorbike and take a ride through the glens to distract from the solitude. That's not something I can do down here, as the only bike I have needs a lot of work to get it roadworthy, and I can't afford to get the parts I need.
These feelings suck! I don't like them at all, and I wish they would just go away. Desperation has been setting in all day, and all I want to do now is go to bed. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning. If not, this is going to be a hell of a long summer.
Sol
Sunday 1 July 2012
New things
Today I tried something called a "Mind Dump". The principle of which is to get all the things that you try and think about doing, out of your head and down on paper. ( I used post it's!) by doing this you are able to "sort" your thoughts and prioritise what you can and can't do for any specific task.
I must admit to it being quite useful. I was able to get down a ton of things, from the mundane chores, to more specific summer tasks as well as work based projects. After I had sorted them out, I could see what I could get done today, and worked my way through them. By doing this, I accomplished 4 tasks that I normally wouldn't have even bothered about.
Tonight, I have also started reading "Ghost Ridet", a Book documenting the mental plight of the drummer from rush's journey from despair to acceptance, after the tragic loss of his daughter followed shortly after by his wife's demise to terminal cancer. Both harrowing things which would send most of us off the edge. Three chapters in, and the only reason I've put it down is cause I am almost asleep!
That's all for tonight
Sol
I must admit to it being quite useful. I was able to get down a ton of things, from the mundane chores, to more specific summer tasks as well as work based projects. After I had sorted them out, I could see what I could get done today, and worked my way through them. By doing this, I accomplished 4 tasks that I normally wouldn't have even bothered about.
Tonight, I have also started reading "Ghost Ridet", a Book documenting the mental plight of the drummer from rush's journey from despair to acceptance, after the tragic loss of his daughter followed shortly after by his wife's demise to terminal cancer. Both harrowing things which would send most of us off the edge. Three chapters in, and the only reason I've put it down is cause I am almost asleep!
That's all for tonight
Sol
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